Feeling Emo...

lemme just start by saying .. my feelings are all jumbled up .. so if you dont understand feel free to ask me about it. Anybody ever just didnt understand themselves????? As you all may know .. Notes is not my thing.. in fact i was gonna make a video but that didnt work out at all lol. Anyway bk to my question.. Have you ever just been confused about yourself?? lemme give u an example .. i'm sure we all have been in love about once or twice before in the past .. and with love sometimes comes pain .. but no matter how much pain you endure you still cant let go?? Hey maybe its just me .. but im lost .. i mean for yearss ( 2 years to be exact) i've been hurt continuously and im still here!!.. wouldnt you think that someone who would stay with you through whateva is someone to keep around..or someone you could appreciate at least?? i mean hey im no angel (we ALL know that) and i've done my fair share of heartbreaks in the past .. but they all resulted from me being hurt first..(i hope yall followin) What i wanna know is if you say you love someone why would you tell girls im bein petty and cant accept that we finished??(time we goin.) or why would you tell girls that the only reason you comin back is cuz her n her bf is happy?(time you say u cut her off) and why would you tell a girl thats shes cute and girls need to be more like her?!?!(time you say you was just askin her a question) .. For a long time ive dealt with the lies the games the STUPID ASS"HOME BOYZ" (yeah bitch i said it.) and all of the dumb hoez ... My question is when you love someone dont you see to it that you do your best no to hurt them? And if im tierd why wont i let go??(i honestly dont know .. but what i do know is that i desperately need change ..cuz this shit is really getting ricdiculous) sigh. Is there a guy out there that tries not to lie, doesnt play games, doesnt FUCK with your emotions, A REALL FUCKKIN NIGGAA?? cuz hurtin ein fun niether is being in love alone :(